Personal Response on Sexuality Identity Term Paper

Personal Response on Sexuality Identity - Term Paper Example So, it is very clear that the people from these different geographical areas will have totally different notions about sex. I too, being a product of the western society had a broad outlook about sex from the very beginning, though this course has, I think, made me think more critically in sexual decisions. Social factors that have a bearing on my sexuality According to the western, especially American concept of sexuality that prevails among the youth, sex is more of a recreational activity that does not have any connection with morality. It is a male dominated society where the ability to lure as many women as possible is considered a way to prove ones maleness. For females, the credibility lies in the ability to hook a man to ones armpits. The role of media cannot be denied in this social situation. According to reports, 8 out of 10 prime-time shows in America have sexual content; thus making sex a very common thing among the youth, having no emotional or ethical value (Dykeman, D uncan, Irvin, King, n. d.). The liberal view of the society I live in about sex is evident from the result of a survey. As per the survey, nearly 90% Americans believe that boys and girls will not wait until marriage to have sex; and only about 17% people were against oral sex and even they had serious doubts about the achievability of their expectations (NPR/Kaiser/Kennedy School Poll, n.d.). Thus, I found sex as a privilege to be enjoyed since adolescence, though I had little discussion with my parents about sex. Despite the liberal attitude towards sex, I would admit, it seems difficult to have open discussions with parents. In fact, my ideas about sex are all collected from friends and the media. I think it is the social freedom we people enjoy that makes sex very possible everywhere. I know there are countries where people seldom go to clubs, or are strictly under the supervision of the parents. However, being the product of an industrialized society, my parents never put a lot of pressure on me to reveal where I am going and who I am meeting. I think it is common for the youth in my country to have this freedom and as a result I had a well defined sexuality since the very beginning of my adolescence which was highly liberal in nature. Even when I got married, I would admit, I did not think that marriage was in no way going to affect my sexual relations. My perceptions on sex and the role of critical thinking Frankly speaking, I never thought of the role of ethics in sex. Though at times I read here and there about the issues associated with plurality in sex and the advantages of having a single sex partner, it seemed a rather impossible proposition in the society I live in, especially because of the lack of emotional attachment the sexual partners posses to each other. In the society I live in, there has been a gradual deviation from the traditional concept of sex as associated with marriage. Being in a society where sex is in no way connected to wedlock and childbirth, and hence not binding, I, like any other young person in the country, prefer to view sex as a physical need; the result of hormonal changes that needs to be quenched irrespective of marital status. In fact, I had adequate knowledge about STD from media but in my own case, I was not so serious about the diseases. The attitude, like any other youngster of my age, was ‘this won’t happen to me’, but now I think I am about to change. Though I live in a society that allows sex with

HR Strategies That Google Has Implemented

HR Strategies That Google Has Implemented Management of human resources has become one of the most important business functions for any company in todays dynamic business environment. With the high level of competition and a multitude of options available to the employees, attrition rates have grown tremendously. Companies are struggling to attract and retain the best talent. Companies have started coming up with many innovative strategies to attract the best talent and keep them happy at the workplace. Google is one such company that has implemented non-conventional HR strategies and believes in providing maximum value to its employees. This report talks about the HR strategies that Google has implemented and what their ramifications have been. Also the reasons behind implementation of these strategies and the how they would help the company achieve its long term goals. This report also studies the unique working environment prevalent at Google and what keeps the employees motivated and committed to innovation. Also the very important role of hiring and retaining the best talent available in the market, performed by the HR machinery has also been discussed in this report. Introduction Google has a highly energetic and dynamic working environment. The employees, known as Googlers in popular jargon know how to work hard and at the same time have fun at the work place. The entire campus in Mountain view, CA exudes a lot of creative energy and dynamism. The office has a relaxed environment of a college campus with no compulsory dress code or daily formal meetings of any kind. The campus has the facilities for the employees to play games like beach volleyball, foosball, table tennis and many others. The employees are instilled with the belief that they are superior to the competition not just in terms of the money they earn but also in terms of their lifestyle and culture. They are taught to believe in values of teamwork and satisfaction through creative achievements. As a result of this culture, the employees also feel proud to be a part of the Google brand. Google has comprehensive HR policies that help employees grow both personally as well as professionally. People of many communities and ethnicities work in Google, who are all made to feel part of one big Google family. Also the employees have a firm belief that they are working for the best company in the world and the work they are doing be it either organizing information or creating advertisements is for the betterment of the society. The motto of the company is Dont be Evil and encourages the employees to strictly adhere to the ethical norms of the company. Google HR Policies: Critical and Theoretical Analysis Success of Google: Employee Motivation Theory Perspective Google encourages its employees to work on 70-20-10 rule where in the employees have to devote 70 % of their time to core search and advertising work, 20% on a project of their choice and 10 % on working on far-out ideas. The product innovations of Google Talk and Gmail have been a result of this kind of initiative. The business benefits of the 20 % off time are very limited as far as their core search and advertising businesses are concerned. However the HR department and the executives still continue to encourage the employees to go for these efforts to remain motivated and committed to innovation and novelty. The compensation policy of Google is highly rewarding with the employees getting salaries, bonuses and stock awards at regular time intervals. Google also encourages and rewards outstanding performance achievements amongst the employees. The Google premise has a big collegiate environment with many sporting facilities and other benefits that the employees can avail. The whole idea behind creating such an environment is that the employees feel very comfortable and easy working in the office and can be as creative as possible. In order for the employees to maintain work life balance, Google offers the employees flexible working hour options, work from home facility, telecommuting and a generous vacation policy. This combined with the TGIIF sessions that are held every Friday afternoon which is a get together within the company itself. The company has a strong code of conduct and encourages its employees to report any violation of policies and feel safe doing the same. The HR policies are all aimed at improving employee productivity. The offices are designed in such a way so as to provide color, lighting and a shared room to the employees. The employees are seated very close to each other and made to share offices, thus making knowledge sharing an essential part of the everyday culture at Google. On an average, each employee generates more than 1 million in revenue each year. This gives leverage to the Google employees and manager to try out new things, make mistakes and learn from their failures, which is again a great motivating factor for the employees to try out new stuff. So as a result any employee in the company has a chance to create a new product or a feature. Hiring Job Design Practices: The Organizational Perspective Google is considered by many employees to be the best place to work. The core strength of the company is its employees. All the benefits provided by the company help it in recruiting the top employees who are willing to spend their entire day at the work place itself. The entire HR policy of Google is based around hiring the best talent; make them work hard and long and manage to keep them at Google for a long time. Google also carries out various people programs in order to support the growing expansion of the Google workforce across different countries in the world. These programs are run to explain the many virtues of Google as an employer and also to deal with the cultural diversities of the workforce across the nations. Google has an innovative hiring strategy and hiring the right people is one of the core pillars of the HR policy of the company. The company has a centralized hiring team, comprising of specialists whose main endeavor is to identify the best talent in the market and retain them. The branding team of Google also plays a very important role in attracting the best of the professionals to work for Google. The candidates have to go through a tough screening process. Google uses an innovative recruiting tool that relies on algorithms to identify the potential talent rather than traditional ways of hiring like those based on academic grades, SAT scores, degree from well-known colleges, prior industry experience, interviews and subjective test results. This gives Google the power to identify and select the candidates on a more data driven approach. The whole idea behind this screening procedure is to evaluate the candidates on their innovative and dynamic skill and to check their ability to work in a flat organizational structure with small teams as present in Google, which is also referred to as Googleyness. This recruiting team is also well funded with 1 recruiter being provided for every 14 employees, which again makes it the best funded recruiting functions amongst the product based organizations in the country. Google has HR Business partners who perform the task of developing and implementing innovative programs and technology in place to identify and resolve end user issues across the company anywhere in the world. They collect and maintain important user data collected over an employees life cycle which is then used to find out important traits and trends of employee behaviors and identify the potentials problems. Google has quarterly hand holding sessions with the senior executives to celebrate the achievement of the previous quarter and set the agenda for the next quarter. However for those who are not comfortable of speaking up in a public forum, the company conducts regular surveys which are kept anonymous to understand the trends and identify the problem areas if there are an y. Googles Learning and Leadership Development (LLD) team innovative learning programs to identify and groom the companys existing talent. The managers perform the task of being life coaches and advise the young employees on a lot of aspects apart from work also. Google HR Policies: Practical Implications Employee Motivation Factors Google has got huge financial strength at its disposal. It spends a lot of money on providing its employees with a lot of benefits which are not comparable to any other company in the world. This makes it a highly motivating work place for any employee. Google has a very flat organizational structure where in the employees can go and talk to the executives and other team members and share their ideas and thoughts. Google has pushed very hard to remove the bureaucratic boundaries that normally exist in such a big company. This is also explains the fact as to why there is no dress code of the company and also no formal meeting structure that the employees need to follow. The young work force that the company has also proliferates such an environment. This is also one of the major reasons why so many talented young people want to work with Google. Google has been successful in building a brand over the years that has made it the most lucrative company to work, for the employees, not onl y in terms of compensation but also in terms of attaining ones creative pursuits. It has been constantly cited as one of the best companies to work for in the world in many surveys over a period of time. So for any other company to emulate the same feat would be a huge task both in terms of financial capability and also in terms of brand value. Hiring Job Design Practices The hiring process that Google follows is also very innovative and non-conventional. In a normal conventional company the process would involve interviews, academic background check, work experience in the industry and so on, but not in Google. Google has come up with a very innovative hiring procedure based on algorithms making the entire process of hiring very scientific and data driven. However there are criticisms for this kind of process also as it goes on for months and is very inconvenient for the applicants, but it has been very fruitful to Google from a business perspective as it has been able to hire the best of the talent from the industry. Such a long hiring cycle again might not be feasible for any other company in todays day and time. Also the applicants are ready to wait for months despite the inconvenience because working with Google is such a lucrative proposition in itself. However its difficult to imagine that the applicants would be ready to go through such a long and a tedious hiring cycle for any other company. Moreover it is not only the HR department that is involved in the hiring process in the case of Google; its the entire company that gets involved as the application first needs to be approved by the team that has the opening. So its the entire machinery of the company that is involved in the hiring process. Google can do this because of its flat organizational structure. Other companies however would have to remove the bureaucracy in their system and create small team structures in order to implement something on similar lines. Conclusion Google is one of those companies that puts its employees at the core of their strategy and looks at the long term benefits that they would bring to the shareholders and their peers. In fact, in 2008 when Google began cutting its employee perks, its employee productivity and stock prices both fell. This shows a direct correlation between gaining and retaining outstanding employees with innovative ideas and the overall company growth. The companys success has been based on the fact that they have been innovative, flexible and dynamic in their functions. Managing growth by keeping the same collegiate environment in the future will be essential to companys success. As Google grows in shape and size, the challenge for the company will be to maintain the same level creative activism and sense of empowerment amongst its employees. Google is having problems finding the right talent in its other offices worldwide especially in its South Asia operations. The employees must be encouraged to wor k in a more entrepreneurial manner and they must be provided adequate resources and finances for the same. Google is one of the few companies where in the employees know that they will be paid for their innovative efforts irrespective of the fact whether the product that they are working on, may or may not come out right. This is a highly motivational factor for the employees to remain committed to innovation. This is also an example how a HR strategy of a company is directly linked to its business strategy.

Louis Pasteur: Greatest Achievements Essay -- essays research papers

To: From: Re: Louis Pasteur Louis Pasteur: Greatest Achievements   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Louis Pasteur was one of the most important scientists of our time. The foundation of our knowledge about health and disease comes from the discoveries of this one man. He made many discoveries and solutions for problems of the every day life that are still in effect today.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Pasteur was born on December 27, 1822 in a little town called Dà ´le in the foothills of the Jura Mountains of eastern France. When he was five years old his family moved to Arbois where he grew up with his father, mother, and three sisters. While attending primary school Pasteur was only an average student. Some considered him to be slow because he worked so hard on an exercise problem to make sure that he had the right answer. While in high school Monsieur Romanet, Pasteur’s principal, became interested in Pasteur and began to help him with his studies. With this encouragement Pasteur became a very good student. The principal suggested that he aim to attend Ecole Normale in Paris where he could become a professor at one of the great universities, however his father felt that this was far-fetched and preferred that Pasteur attend a more local school (Burton, 5-7).   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Although his father had other plans for him, Pasteur had the opportunity to attend a preparatory school in Paris before going on to Ecole Normale, however when he got to Paris he became very homesick and his father soon arrived to take him home. After returning to Arbois Pasteur attended a local school named Besancon where he worked very hard and became one of the top students in his class. In 1842 Pasteur passed the admission tests to attend Ecole Normale however he was rated fifteenth of twenty-two candidates and this was not good enough to satisfy him. He continued to study and finally in 1843 Pasteur sailed through his admission tests and was awarded fourth place among the other candidates (Burton, 7-11).   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Although Pasteur is sometimes considered to be the father of microbiology and immunology, he actually launched his career as a chemist who studied the shapes of organic crystals. Crystallography was just emerging as a branch of chemistry and his project was to crystalize a number of organic compounds. While working on this project he began... ..., the boy made a full recovery (Nicolle, 199-200).   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  After making his discovery about rabies his health began to deteriorate and he suffered from paralysis on his left side from a serious stroke. This made his work in the laboratory extremely difficult. Pasteur died in 1895 after suffering from additional strokes. Pasteur was a great man with a great mind. Because of his many discoveries there are many people that owe him their lives. Without his brilliance the medical sciences would be at a complete loss today.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚   Works Cited   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Benz, Francis E.. Pasteur Knight of the Laboratory. New York, New York: Dodd, Mead and Company, 1938. 73-141.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Burton, Mary June. Louis Pasteur Founder of Microbiology. New York, New York: Franklin Watts, Inc., 1963. 5-77.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Cohn, David V.. â€Å"The Life and Times of Louis Pasteur.† University of Louisville School of Dentistry. 11 Feb. 1996. 45 pars. 7 Mar. 2004.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Nicolle, Jacques. Louis Pasteur The Story of His Major Discoveries. New York, New York: Basic Books, Inc., 1961. 192-200.

Guitar Concert Critique

From Left to Right: Danica Rae Espiritu, Jerico S. Dela Cruz, Darla Denielle R. Felizardo, April Jane B. Luna, Judith D. Domingo, Angelo Gabriel I. Manila Last February 14, a guitar concert took place at the University of the Philippines Los Banos. The concert held in NCAS auditorium was entitled 12 strings with Nobel Queano and Franco Maigne as the artists. I. General Reaction a. Physical Setup Upon entering the auditorium, you will already feel the classy ambiance of the whole venue which matches perfectly with the music being played in the venue. Some members of the group have also some insights about the venue.According to Darla, the setup was stunning. She was impressed with the design of curtains and the lights. She also said that the dominance of the color red in the setup added to the Valentines ambiance, giving the audience that romantic and lovely feeling along with the sweet harmony and melody of the two guitars. For Jerico, he was also grateful with the lights in the even t but for him, he suggested that it will be better if the lights will be in sync with the rhythm of the music. For April, she felt that the venue was very sophisticated and made her feel at home. The lights also made the venue extra-special.Angelo felt that the stage was too rigid for some movements. The whole group agreed that the sound system was very good because there were no faulty errors on the whole duration of the concert. b. Personal Reaction Overall, it was really a great show. Although some students find it boring, majority in our group find the concert to be enjoyable and interesting. For Darla, she said that she definitely did not waste her 100 pesos for the ticket because the setup was beautiful, the artists were great, and the music being played was so relaxing. She also said that it was a good stress-reliever after a long day in class.For Angelo, he thought that the concert would be continuous with no breaks and that the artists would not be able to have some talking to the audience, but they did. He also said that the set of classical songs are so good that he almost felt the feeling of the one that composed the pieces. He also added that the addition of modern songs in the set list is great because it matches the audience’s genre. Danica was so amazed with how the artists play and handle the guitar but she felt that it was little boring to listen because she didn’t know most of the songs that were played. c. RepertoireIn terms of the artists’ set list, our group also agrees that they have a good set of songs. Although most of the songs played were not familiar, they really made an effort to make their pieces to be appreciated. According to Danica, you can really feel the love of the two artists to Spanish Music through their setlist. She also said that it was a good line up actually, because it was a combination of slow and upbeat music. She said that it was clearly a good picture for students like us what classical music really mean. For Jerico, he liked the set list because the artists included an opm which really made him appreciate the concert more.For Darla, although she didn’t know most of the songs that they played, she liked how the artists arranged their pieces and she felt like she was going through a timeline of music. II. One Favorite Composition Majority of the members in our group liked the â€Å"Super Mario Medley† which was composed by Koji Kondo for the game â€Å"Mario†. They liked it because of the arrangement done by the artists and even the little effects were given emphasize such as the melody when Mario shoots, when he grows, and when he shrink back to his original size. They felt that it was amusing and heartwarming and they left the audience craving for more.They also noticed that the elements of music such as melody, harmony, and rhythm changes accordingly to the parts of the medley they played. Also, even though they made their own arrangement for it, the people still recognized that it was the Super Mario theme. Overall, it was executed in a perfect way. Jerico on the other hand has a different favorite composition. His favorite composition was â€Å"Sana Maulit Muli† which was composed, arranged and sang by Mr. Gary Valenciano. He liked the sound of the song because of its varying dynamics.The harmony and the melody of the song makes it more appealing to the mass. Angelo also has another favorite; his favorite was â€Å"Love Story† which was sang by Taylor Swift. . He liked it because it is polyphony and it emphasizes fast tempo and repetitive melodic patterns. III. Performance a. Artists’ Skill in Playing the Instrument There is no doubt that the artists were really good. They play the instruments really really well. They handled the guitar almost perfectly that it seems that it was very easy and light to play. The displayed their talents in a very awesome way that they left the audience in awe.They were s o good in playing the guitars since the classical songs that they played were made for piano and orchestra, yet they managed to play those pieces perfectly. We were also amazed when they told us that the other one plays with his left hand while the other one plays with his right hand. Amazing indeed! Seeing them play makes us want to learn how to play the guitar as brilliant as them. b. Stage Presence and Audience Rapport In terms of stage presence, our group agreed that the artists have great stage presence. The crowd went crazy when they play familiar songs and the crowd often sings with the music and clap at each piece.The introduction of the song before they play it creates a connection between the audience and the artists making the audience really tuned into their performance. It is also good that they played two popular songs towards the end. They made sure that the audience can relate and sing along to the pieces that they performed. All in all, the concert was a great perfo rmance indeed. Love Story, which was the last song for that night was really perfect for Valentine’s Day. Overall, it was really and inspiring show. By watching the concert we learned to appreciate guitar and classical music even more.

Effectively Communicating in an Interpersonal Relationship

Effectively Communicating in an Interpersonal Relationship To the newly wedded couple, It has occurred to me that our current generation seems to lack the ability to communicate effectively with in an interpersonal relationships and it is through cooperation, collaboration, and compromise that an effective flow of communication occurs. If we analyzing and studying the communication process of both sending and receiving information, we can improve our ability to communicate effectively between one another. To have a successful interpersonal relationship one must first interact with others, which is called interpersonal communication. † (Hybels, 2007) We spend most of our lives interacting with each other, with a dozen different reasons to talk to different people. We will tend to say things differently depending on who we are speaking too. So there is a lot more to communication that just putting words together and saying them out loud for the other person to hear. The ability t o communicate effectively takes real skill and learning this skill never ends, even in a marriage.Being able to communicate effectively is probably one of the most important skills a person can have in a marriage, as the main cause for divorce is the lack of communication between one another. You are the only person that can say what you want your spouse to hear, so if you don’t know how to express what you want to say or explain your intentions clearly, the other one could easily take what you say and turn your own words agains you. So the best way to avoid this situation is to be assertive in how you communicate.When I say you must be assertive, I mean you must express your feelings and ideas openly, honestly, and take responsibility for your actions. It is also being willing to listen to what the other one is saying and respect them no matter how different their opinions may be from yours. You also need to be able to recognizing the emotions in one another, as it is a very important first step to building a good relationship. If one cannot feel what the other one is feeling, then you simply cannot connect with them on a personal or emotional level and that can deeply hinder one’s relationship process.Interpersonal communication is important because of the functions it achieves. Whenever we engage in communication with another person, we seek to exchange information with them, we also communicate information through a wide variety of verbal and nonverbal cues. Spoken communication has huge effects on all aspects of our life, to including interpersonal relationships, just as speaking and telling our needs and wants verbally or non-verbally is a necessity for our daily lives.Within our daily lives of both work and home, when we exchange information with our spouse, our verbal communication is organized by our language, whereas nonverbal communication is not. We spend about 75 percent of our day communicating our knowledge, thoughts, experiences, and ideas to each other. (Allis, 2002) What we don’t realize is that a lot of our communication is not made up of the oral or written form but of the nonverbal form. In communications involving two or more people, our messages are sent on two levels simultaneously and if the verbal cues are not congruent with the nonverbal cues, then the flow of communication is hindered.Correct or not, if the receiver of the communication will base the intentions of the sender on the nonverbal cues that they recieved. Most couples believe that they will communicate better because of the fact that they are in a relationship with this person and the depth of their personal knowledge and connectivity. (Schoenberg, 2011) All of this is based on the assumption that your significant other understands your intent even though your verbal and nonverbal signals are not matching up. So you two have to be cognizant of the nonverbal signals that you send to each other.Nonverbal cues can be categorized in to two sections: vocal and visual. The vocal side of nonverbal communication involves timbre (quality and tone), pitch (inflection), intensity (volume), tempo (speed), rhythm, and pauses (silence). Whereas the visual side of nonverbal communication involves your eyes, face, body posture, and hand gestures. â€Å"Before a person makes an attempt to form an interpersonal relationship, they must decide what attracts them to that person. There are many factors that make up attractions to other: physical attractions, perceived gain, similarities, differences, and proximity are a few of them. (Hybels, 2007) As you too were attracted to each other from the start, it is common with most people to be attracted to each other by the way they look, some people might have certain distinct characteristics that they find more attractable then others. Tall or short, blonde or brunette hair, blue or green eyes, muscular or slender, or even freckles are many things that attract us to one another but if there is no attractions, you are going to be less likely to walk up to someone and strike up a conversation them.For example, I am covered from wrists to neck to waist with tattoos and I have found that they inhibit my ability to have a good first impression on many of the professors that I have had over the last several years of college. I didn’t notice it at first but over time I saw that I received a warmer reception and instruction from my teachers when I had long sleeves on but if I gave the instructor time to get to know me. I could slowly start to show tattoos and it would not affect how the instructor acted towards me.On the opposite side though, I have met very interesting and smart people that had just as many tattoos as I did because of the shared similarities that we had. The similarities and differences can be a major factor in determining if a relationship will be good for a person because at times we will find ourselves attracted to people that share the sa me culture basis that we do. It is not a hard reach though to see why people are often attracted to people who enjoy the same things as we do but people can also be attracted to the differences in personalities. For example, people who don’t like making decisions might be attracted to a stronger decision maker. Because these characteristics complement each other, they might help strengthen the relationship. † (Hybels, 2007) So keep this in mind when you two are communicating with each other and it seems that what you are trying to send in not being received properly, as your nonverbal cues or bodily language might be sending something entirely different. As important as sending the right signals both verbally and nonverbally, effective listening is just as important in any relationship.When one listens to another, it shows that you respect them and care about what the other person is trying to communicate. There are three important types of listening and they are active , critical, and empathic. (Sole, 2011) Active listening is assertive communication that develops a sense of trust, were the person talking gets the feeling that you know what they are trying to communicate is getting to you. In doing this, you two will build a stronger bond and trust each other more in what you say and do.Critical listening is an analytical and rational process of listening, in where you analysis what is being said, process the information, and make a judgement on what was meant. After one has been in a relationship for a while the critical listening will not be needed, as empathic listening will tend to take over. Empathic listening is listening to your spouse when they have an issue or problem that they just need to talk about and know that you are there to listen.So when you empathetically listen, you set aside your own feelings and concentrate on comforting you spouse in their time of emotional need. Once you can use empathic listening in your relationship, you will be able to reflect on what is being said and respond back on the same emotional level of the person communicating but empathic listening is something that takes time in a relationship and you cannot force emotions but you can just be there for your spouse.It is obvious that you too have already made the initial approach to each other but there can be times in you relationship that you will have to make the approach again because a new or different situation has developed. So it is good to know that once we have approached someone, the next steps of forming an interpersonal relationship would be our motives for communicating. Your motives for getting married can easily be seen if someone spends just a couple minutes with you two and you guys fit the text book definition of what motivates us for forming a relationship.As â€Å"we are motivated to form relationships for many different reasons such as, pleasure, affection, inclusion, escape, relaxation, control, and health. † (Hybels, 2007) If one is motivated by pleasure, he or she might want someone to watch the same movies, listen to music, or discuss things that they have in common. If one is motivated by affection, then finding someone who will give you the â€Å"affective affirmation† that you need.Regardless of what motivates us, if we have started to develop a relationship we have to decide how much of our selves that we want to share and at what point in the relationship do we share it. Another factor that would have been considered as well would be the proximity of each other, as â€Å"proximity is the close contact that occurs when people share an experience such as at work, school, or play. † (Hybels, 2007) But seeing as you to met in college and studied the same major, your proximity was really close and you too were able to hare a lot of really neat experiences together and still continue to do so. Speaking of sharing with one another, I would like to explain self-disclosure to both of you. As â€Å"self-disclosure is a process in which one person tells another person something he or she would not reveal to just anyone. † (Hybels, 2007) Self-disclosure in not just providing someone with information about yourself. Self-disclosure is about revealing a piece of yourself that others would not normally know or learn about you over time.It involves trusting a person with your vulnerabilities when your risk sharing this information but it is also a way of gaining more information from the person you are sharing it with and you want to be able to trust each other and predict the thoughts and actions of your spouse. When one shares information like this, we are able to judge the reactions of our significant other. So once we share this information, we can learn how they think and feel on certain situations or topics that would not normally come up in normal day discussions.It is also implied that once he or she begins self-disclosure, the other will fol low suit. Thus causing a mutual disclosure and deepening the trust between two people in a relationship, knowing that they except you for who you are. While self-disclosure can strengthen a relationship it can also damage it as well but it is not called the intensifying stage for nothing because a relationship can be damaged if he or she is pouring out their soul to you and you don’t like what they are hearing or if the self-disclosure comes to early in the relationship, it can be just as damaging.There are five stages that we go through when developing and strengthening a relationship, these are the â€Å"coming together† stages. The first stage is the initiating stage, which is characterized by nervousness, caution, hesitation, and a very high risk of rejection. The next stage is the experimental stage, where we seek out any common interests, experiences, and life goals. It is in this stage that you might of talked about both of your education and career goals, when you might want to start a family, and what part of the city you wanted to settle down in.The third stage is the intensity stage in which the couple begins self-disclosure in an attempt to strengthen their relationship but also make it more vulnerable to each other. If you didn’t notice, when you two first started dating, your conversations were usually on positive topics in both of your lives but as time when on and you began to trust each other and build bonds. So when both of you felt comfortable in expressing your needs, fears, and desires; your relationship was strengthened and the two of you grew closer together as a couple.I don’t really think you two had an issues with this though, as you guys seemed to attach yourselves to each other after only a month had passed bye and the beginning and continued use of your pet names for each other made all of us sick but we were extremely grateful (kidding) when both of you got that summer intern job together. You two did c ome back a stronger couple though, so that summer really did bring you two together more, which led you into the fourth stage.The fourth stage is the integrating stage, in which the couple begins to communicate and respond easily to each others feelings. This is the point where your personalities began merging into one and we always saw you two together. I don’t think there was a single party or gathering that both of you were there for but you two made a cute couple and it was just expected after a time. The final stage would be the bonding stage. At this point, the couple will make some sort of commitment that announces their relationship to those around them,† (Hybels, 2007) involving a lot of commitment and dedication to the relationship and to each other. Whereas you two decided to get married and finally move into that small house you both were drooling over but you do know that once you two decide to have a baby, you will have to find a bigger house. In all of th e stages discussed we all have decision to make, we can either continue to move forward to the next stage, stay in the same stage we are in, or terminate the relationship all together.No matter what we as individuals choose to do with our lives, we need to know how to communicate effectively to that next stage and we need to know how to handle and resolve conflict in any relationship we place ourselves in. â€Å"We can do this by conflict resolution, which is negotiating to find a solution to the conflict. † (Hybels, 2007) Depending on how a conflict is resolved it can produce a positive or negative result but it also helps to take a positive approach to any conflict resolution, where discussion is considerate and on-confrontational, and the heart of the matter is on the issues and not on the individuals. If this can be completed, then, as long as people are willingly listening to each other and explore facts, issues, and possible solutions properly, conflict can often be res olved effectively. Making interpersonal communication just like any other work of life, meaning that it must be practiced and utilized regularly to be successful and we must continually analyze and study it in order to improve our ability to communicate effectively in relationships.So if you relationship is to last a long time and be a healthy and happy one, it is important to maintain a constant and consistent flow of communication with your partner (Sole, 2011). I wish the best of luck to both of you and hope your future endeavors bring you as much happiness as the last ones did. Sincerely, Aaron Stamper Reference Allis, R. (2002). Non-verbal Communication. Zeromillion. com. Retrieved from http://www. zeromillion. com/business/management/non-verbal-communication. html Hybels, S. & Weaver, R. (2007).Communicating Effectively. New York: McGraw-Hill Company Inc. Preston, P. (2005). Nonverbal communication: Do you really say what you mean? Journal of Healthcare Management. Retrieved f rom http://proquest. umi. com. Schoenberg, N. (2011). Can we talk? researcher talks about the role of communication in marriages. Houston Chronicle. Retrieved from http://search. proquest. com. Sole, K. (2011). Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc. Retrieved from https://content. ashford. ed. Effectively Communicating in an Interpersonal Relationship Effectively Communicating in an Interpersonal Relationship To the newly wedded couple, It has occurred to me that our current generation seems to lack the ability to communicate effectively with in an interpersonal relationships and it is through cooperation, collaboration, and compromise that an effective flow of communication occurs. If we analyzing and studying the communication process of both sending and receiving information, we can improve our ability to communicate effectively between one another. To have a successful interpersonal relationship one must first interact with others, which is called interpersonal communication. † (Hybels, 2007) We spend most of our lives interacting with each other, with a dozen different reasons to talk to different people. We will tend to say things differently depending on who we are speaking too. So there is a lot more to communication that just putting words together and saying them out loud for the other person to hear. The ability t o communicate effectively takes real skill and learning this skill never ends, even in a marriage.Being able to communicate effectively is probably one of the most important skills a person can have in a marriage, as the main cause for divorce is the lack of communication between one another. You are the only person that can say what you want your spouse to hear, so if you don’t know how to express what you want to say or explain your intentions clearly, the other one could easily take what you say and turn your own words agains you. So the best way to avoid this situation is to be assertive in how you communicate.When I say you must be assertive, I mean you must express your feelings and ideas openly, honestly, and take responsibility for your actions. It is also being willing to listen to what the other one is saying and respect them no matter how different their opinions may be from yours. You also need to be able to recognizing the emotions in one another, as it is a very important first step to building a good relationship. If one cannot feel what the other one is feeling, then you simply cannot connect with them on a personal or emotional level and that can deeply hinder one’s relationship process.Interpersonal communication is important because of the functions it achieves. Whenever we engage in communication with another person, we seek to exchange information with them, we also communicate information through a wide variety of verbal and nonverbal cues. Spoken communication has huge effects on all aspects of our life, to including interpersonal relationships, just as speaking and telling our needs and wants verbally or non-verbally is a necessity for our daily lives.Within our daily lives of both work and home, when we exchange information with our spouse, our verbal communication is organized by our language, whereas nonverbal communication is not. We spend about 75 percent of our day communicating our knowledge, thoughts, experiences, and ideas to each other. (Allis, 2002) What we don’t realize is that a lot of our communication is not made up of the oral or written form but of the nonverbal form. In communications involving two or more people, our messages are sent on two levels simultaneously and if the verbal cues are not congruent with the nonverbal cues, then the flow of communication is hindered.Correct or not, if the receiver of the communication will base the intentions of the sender on the nonverbal cues that they recieved. Most couples believe that they will communicate better because of the fact that they are in a relationship with this person and the depth of their personal knowledge and connectivity. (Schoenberg, 2011) All of this is based on the assumption that your significant other understands your intent even though your verbal and nonverbal signals are not matching up. So you two have to be cognizant of the nonverbal signals that you send to each other.Nonverbal cues can be categorized in to two sections: vocal and visual. The vocal side of nonverbal communication involves timbre (quality and tone), pitch (inflection), intensity (volume), tempo (speed), rhythm, and pauses (silence). Whereas the visual side of nonverbal communication involves your eyes, face, body posture, and hand gestures. â€Å"Before a person makes an attempt to form an interpersonal relationship, they must decide what attracts them to that person. There are many factors that make up attractions to other: physical attractions, perceived gain, similarities, differences, and proximity are a few of them. (Hybels, 2007) As you too were attracted to each other from the start, it is common with most people to be attracted to each other by the way they look, some people might have certain distinct characteristics that they find more attractable then others. Tall or short, blonde or brunette hair, blue or green eyes, muscular or slender, or even freckles are many things that attract us to one another but if there is no attractions, you are going to be less likely to walk up to someone and strike up a conversation them.For example, I am covered from wrists to neck to waist with tattoos and I have found that they inhibit my ability to have a good first impression on many of the professors that I have had over the last several years of college. I didn’t notice it at first but over time I saw that I received a warmer reception and instruction from my teachers when I had long sleeves on but if I gave the instructor time to get to know me. I could slowly start to show tattoos and it would not affect how the instructor acted towards me.On the opposite side though, I have met very interesting and smart people that had just as many tattoos as I did because of the shared similarities that we had. The similarities and differences can be a major factor in determining if a relationship will be good for a person because at times we will find ourselves attracted to people that share the sa me culture basis that we do. It is not a hard reach though to see why people are often attracted to people who enjoy the same things as we do but people can also be attracted to the differences in personalities. For example, people who don’t like making decisions might be attracted to a stronger decision maker. Because these characteristics complement each other, they might help strengthen the relationship. † (Hybels, 2007) So keep this in mind when you two are communicating with each other and it seems that what you are trying to send in not being received properly, as your nonverbal cues or bodily language might be sending something entirely different. As important as sending the right signals both verbally and nonverbally, effective listening is just as important in any relationship.When one listens to another, it shows that you respect them and care about what the other person is trying to communicate. There are three important types of listening and they are active , critical, and empathic. (Sole, 2011) Active listening is assertive communication that develops a sense of trust, were the person talking gets the feeling that you know what they are trying to communicate is getting to you. In doing this, you two will build a stronger bond and trust each other more in what you say and do.Critical listening is an analytical and rational process of listening, in where you analysis what is being said, process the information, and make a judgement on what was meant. After one has been in a relationship for a while the critical listening will not be needed, as empathic listening will tend to take over. Empathic listening is listening to your spouse when they have an issue or problem that they just need to talk about and know that you are there to listen.So when you empathetically listen, you set aside your own feelings and concentrate on comforting you spouse in their time of emotional need. Once you can use empathic listening in your relationship, you will be able to reflect on what is being said and respond back on the same emotional level of the person communicating but empathic listening is something that takes time in a relationship and you cannot force emotions but you can just be there for your spouse.It is obvious that you too have already made the initial approach to each other but there can be times in you relationship that you will have to make the approach again because a new or different situation has developed. So it is good to know that once we have approached someone, the next steps of forming an interpersonal relationship would be our motives for communicating. Your motives for getting married can easily be seen if someone spends just a couple minutes with you two and you guys fit the text book definition of what motivates us for forming a relationship.As â€Å"we are motivated to form relationships for many different reasons such as, pleasure, affection, inclusion, escape, relaxation, control, and health. † (Hybels, 2007) If one is motivated by pleasure, he or she might want someone to watch the same movies, listen to music, or discuss things that they have in common. If one is motivated by affection, then finding someone who will give you the â€Å"affective affirmation† that you need.Regardless of what motivates us, if we have started to develop a relationship we have to decide how much of our selves that we want to share and at what point in the relationship do we share it. Another factor that would have been considered as well would be the proximity of each other, as â€Å"proximity is the close contact that occurs when people share an experience such as at work, school, or play. † (Hybels, 2007) But seeing as you to met in college and studied the same major, your proximity was really close and you too were able to hare a lot of really neat experiences together and still continue to do so. Speaking of sharing with one another, I would like to explain self-disclosure to both of you. As â€Å"self-disclosure is a process in which one person tells another person something he or she would not reveal to just anyone. † (Hybels, 2007) Self-disclosure in not just providing someone with information about yourself. Self-disclosure is about revealing a piece of yourself that others would not normally know or learn about you over time.It involves trusting a person with your vulnerabilities when your risk sharing this information but it is also a way of gaining more information from the person you are sharing it with and you want to be able to trust each other and predict the thoughts and actions of your spouse. When one shares information like this, we are able to judge the reactions of our significant other. So once we share this information, we can learn how they think and feel on certain situations or topics that would not normally come up in normal day discussions.It is also implied that once he or she begins self-disclosure, the other will fol low suit. Thus causing a mutual disclosure and deepening the trust between two people in a relationship, knowing that they except you for who you are. While self-disclosure can strengthen a relationship it can also damage it as well but it is not called the intensifying stage for nothing because a relationship can be damaged if he or she is pouring out their soul to you and you don’t like what they are hearing or if the self-disclosure comes to early in the relationship, it can be just as damaging.There are five stages that we go through when developing and strengthening a relationship, these are the â€Å"coming together† stages. The first stage is the initiating stage, which is characterized by nervousness, caution, hesitation, and a very high risk of rejection. The next stage is the experimental stage, where we seek out any common interests, experiences, and life goals. It is in this stage that you might of talked about both of your education and career goals, when you might want to start a family, and what part of the city you wanted to settle down in.The third stage is the intensity stage in which the couple begins self-disclosure in an attempt to strengthen their relationship but also make it more vulnerable to each other. If you didn’t notice, when you two first started dating, your conversations were usually on positive topics in both of your lives but as time when on and you began to trust each other and build bonds. So when both of you felt comfortable in expressing your needs, fears, and desires; your relationship was strengthened and the two of you grew closer together as a couple.I don’t really think you two had an issues with this though, as you guys seemed to attach yourselves to each other after only a month had passed bye and the beginning and continued use of your pet names for each other made all of us sick but we were extremely grateful (kidding) when both of you got that summer intern job together. You two did c ome back a stronger couple though, so that summer really did bring you two together more, which led you into the fourth stage.The fourth stage is the integrating stage, in which the couple begins to communicate and respond easily to each others feelings. This is the point where your personalities began merging into one and we always saw you two together. I don’t think there was a single party or gathering that both of you were there for but you two made a cute couple and it was just expected after a time. The final stage would be the bonding stage. At this point, the couple will make some sort of commitment that announces their relationship to those around them,† (Hybels, 2007) involving a lot of commitment and dedication to the relationship and to each other. Whereas you two decided to get married and finally move into that small house you both were drooling over but you do know that once you two decide to have a baby, you will have to find a bigger house. In all of th e stages discussed we all have decision to make, we can either continue to move forward to the next stage, stay in the same stage we are in, or terminate the relationship all together.No matter what we as individuals choose to do with our lives, we need to know how to communicate effectively to that next stage and we need to know how to handle and resolve conflict in any relationship we place ourselves in. â€Å"We can do this by conflict resolution, which is negotiating to find a solution to the conflict. † (Hybels, 2007) Depending on how a conflict is resolved it can produce a positive or negative result but it also helps to take a positive approach to any conflict resolution, where discussion is considerate and on-confrontational, and the heart of the matter is on the issues and not on the individuals. If this can be completed, then, as long as people are willingly listening to each other and explore facts, issues, and possible solutions properly, conflict can often be res olved effectively. Making interpersonal communication just like any other work of life, meaning that it must be practiced and utilized regularly to be successful and we must continually analyze and study it in order to improve our ability to communicate effectively in relationships.So if you relationship is to last a long time and be a healthy and happy one, it is important to maintain a constant and consistent flow of communication with your partner (Sole, 2011). I wish the best of luck to both of you and hope your future endeavors bring you as much happiness as the last ones did. Sincerely, Aaron Stamper Reference Allis, R. (2002). Non-verbal Communication. Zeromillion. com. Retrieved from http://www. zeromillion. com/business/management/non-verbal-communication. html Hybels, S. & Weaver, R. (2007).Communicating Effectively. New York: McGraw-Hill Company Inc. Preston, P. (2005). Nonverbal communication: Do you really say what you mean? Journal of Healthcare Management. Retrieved f rom http://proquest. umi. com. Schoenberg, N. (2011). Can we talk? researcher talks about the role of communication in marriages. Houston Chronicle. Retrieved from http://search. proquest. com. Sole, K. (2011). Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc. Retrieved from https://content. ashford. ed.